'Loving' Soulmates

So many people seem to have fallen prey to the belief that we have one and only one “soulmate” in our lives. Romance novels, plays, movies and television have convinced them that their “one and only love” will manifest as a perfect mating of souls. Filled with sizzling passion and free of conflict. A true meeting of mind and heart.  

It's my belief that we may actually love more than one soulmate in each lifetime, and that there are basically three types of “loving soulmates” – each important to our growth and development in their own way….

Karmic Soulmates are those with whom you’ve come into this lifetime to resolve the issues from the past. The attraction to a karmic soulmate is usually strong, and is often fraught with struggle. They aren’t meant to be easy relationships. If we’re lucky (or wise), we may learn important lessons from loving a karmic soulmate and, hopefully, end any conflicts or pay back past debts. It’s been my experience that the attraction to a karmic soulmate dies out when the issues are laid to rest.
      I’ve personally had more than my share of karmic soulmates in my life. The one that stands out most clearly was a brilliant (albeit complicated) older man. Arthur served as both a surrogate father figure and a mentor who fell in love with me when I was still an unsophisticated twenty-year-old and introduced me to the world of art, music, motorcycles and, thankfully, to a woman who would become one of my closest friends for the rest of my life. We shared passion, arguments and many painful breakups as I struggled to earn my independence and get my footing as an adult. We hurt each other in untold ways, and parted as friends when the karmic mayhem finally dissolved into acceptance.

Companion Soulmates are here to work with you to achieve a common goal. Although you might be strongly attracted to a companion soulmate, the relationship doesn’t generate the extreme passion found with a karmic soulmate. Companionship is the key element here.. Your mutual goals may be as basic as guiding a child into adulthood, or as lofty as ending world hunger. Companion soulmates might pass fondly from your life when your shared goals are reached, or they might stay with you for a lifetime.
      My husband, Lou, is a wonderful example of a companion soulmate. I recognized him the second he walked into my life, and have loved him since. We have shared many common goals, starting with a renewed study of metaphysics in new modalities, through building a conservatory that has brought music into the lives of thousands of children, and finally raising a phenomenal son who has changed our lives in more ways than we could have ever imagined. I have had a clear mission to support Lou’s incredible gift of music; he has never wavered in his encouragement of my gift of claircognizant insights. (That’s not to say we haven’t had some karmic issues to resolve! We have fought like tigers, argued until we’re both blue in the face, and worked hard to keep our marriage together through tough times over the past 30 years.)  

Romantic Soulmates are more than life-long relationships. They are souls whom you’ve loved in the past, and have made a vow to love again. These relationships may defy convention by crossing cultural norms of class, race or religion – but are so powerful that we often feel helpless to ignore them. These men and women are frequently described as our “one true love” or the “love of our life.” Romantic soulmates remain in our hearts even when the relationship has ended.
      As it turns out, I met my romantic soulmate, Jeff, at the back door of our high-school bus. We fell hopelessly in love, and spent every minute together. Although we were both certain we were meant to be together, the intensity of our relationship was too strong for a dating relationship to withstand. We parted (the first time) at twenty when I wanted to get married, but he knew we were too young. The relationship, though, wasn’t over. We got back together numerous times over the course of fifteen years but, ultimately, we had grown in very different and disparate ways. Meeting my companion soulmate in my early thirties finally put an end to the push and pull of my relationship with Jeff. If I ever write a romance novel, though, I’d use that relationship as the model for young love!

Although elements of the karmic, companion and romantic might be present in each loving soulmate relationship, one of the three types is generally clearly dominant. I truly ​believe that we choose our soulmates in each lifetime to help us progress on our path toward enlightenment.

The key is to appreciate each love you may encounter, for each and every one – for better or for worse – was meant to be.

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