There Are More Things in Heaven and Earth…than are dreamt of in your philosophy.*

As a hypnosis professional, my clients come to me for help on all sorts of issues from eliminating stress, anxiety and phobias to improving self-confidence, health and happiness. Sometimes, though, it takes a few sessions together for the true underlying problems to surface.
 
Here’s a story that might capture your interest. It has a bit of everything: mystery, metaphysics and maybe even a bit of magic –all wrapped up with a surprising ending….
 
Ellen initially came to me to find out if hypnosis could help her deal with the stress in her life. A highly successful saleswoman in her mid 30's, Ellen was well-educated, articulate and very personable but complained about feeling tired and stressed out most of the time.
 
We began with light hypnosis, allowing Ellen's subconscious mind to slowly embrace new methods for coping with stress, and replacing old negative messages with positive thoughts and actions. After a few sessions to work on alleviating her stress and anxiety, we moved on to increasing her self-confidence. Ellen was clearly delighted with the progress she had made, and reported feeling much calmer and more self-assured. However, as we chatted each week, she kept bringing up her fears about becoming a mother. Ellen confided that she and her husband Joe had been hoping she would become pregnant for quite a while, and she worried that she may not be able to bear children. In one session she wondered if she would be damaging her career if she took time off to get pregnant. In another, she voiced her concerns about being financially able to take care of a family. She often wondered aloud about whether she would be a good mother, even though she shyly admitted that she adored, and was adored by, her many nieces and nephews.
 
When our work together on stress and self-confidence was done, I reminded Ellen of the many doubts she had expressed about motherhood, and asked her if she would like to spend some time exploring the issue. She was immediately onboard with the suggestion and we set about trying to understand her hesitation about having children.
 
To be, or not to be [a mom], that is the question.*
 
My first step was to use Guided Imagery to help Ellen figure out whether she indeed wanted to have children, or would rather focus on her career. Guided Imagery is a gentle but powerful mind/body hypnosis technique that uses imaginary scenarios to promote self-awareness, healing, growth, learning and performance.
 
Since Ellen often spoke about her brothers’ wives, her nieces and nephews, and Joe's sister's recent announcement that she was pregnant, we proceeded to do a session where I hypnotized Ellen and had her picture herself sitting on a sofa at a family gathering surrounded by all of these women and their children.
 
I asked Ellen to imagine that, although she was enjoying being in the midst of all of these mothers, she had decided to focus on her career and forego having children. Then I asked her how she felt about that decision. Ellen immediately looked forlorn and she vehemently shook her head saying that she didn't like that at all.
 
Next I had Ellen imagine that she was many months pregnant in the same situation, and asked how she felt about becoming a mother like the rest of the women. A look of pure joy spread over Ellen's face, as she whispered "I'm so happy."
 
Clearly, something in Ellen really wanted to become a mother!
 
What’s past is prologue [… to this lifetime]. *
 
During our time together, I found myself becoming more and more convinced that Ellen was being affected by “old data” she had brought from the past into her current lifetime. Although I generally begin looking for more recent events to explain a client’s fears, something kept pushing me to investigate through Past Life Regression Therapy. Fortunately, Ellen was open to the concept of reincarnation, so we decided to explore a past life that would bring her some insight as to why she was so conflicted about becoming a parent as opposed to devoting herself to her career.
 
Ellen’s past life regression brought her to a small clock shop where she was nervously waiting to meet someone. “It’s no good,” she lamented aloud. Ellen began to weep as the scene unfolded in her memory, clearly in emotional pain. She told me that she was a man in the lifetime she was visiting, and was the father of two sons. Ellen went on to explain that, as the result of a “bad business decision” she had made that would leave them in terrible economic straits, the boys’ mother was taking them away. “I’m going to be alone,” Ellen cried in anguish. “I’m not going to be with them. I can’t give them a better life.” As I walked Ellen through that lifetime to the time of death, we discovered that she had been reunited with her family, but not until her sons were grown. Her promise to herself upon passing was that she would “never again miss a moment in her children’s lives.”
 
More pieces of the puzzle had fallen into place. We not only had some idea of why Ellen feared she’d never be a good parent, we understood her worries about not being able to financially support a family.
 
There are many events in the womb of time.* 
 
Although we closed the past life regression with Ellen forgiving the mother of her children for taking their children away and forgiving herself for failing in business and not being there for her sons as they grew up, Ellen still felt anxious about becoming pregnant. She wondered why she had yet to conceive, and voiced her concerns about money and what would happen if she became widowed while still raising children.
 
It was time to find out what her subconscious mind was trying to tell her.
 
I suggested we try a Parts Therapy session. Parts Therapy is a very powerful hypnosis technique we use in hypnotherapy to help our clients resolve inner conflicts. It’s often my ‘go to’ when a client is clearly motivated to change a behavior or belief, but seems unable to do so. In Parts Therapy, we bring the client into a slightly deeper level of hypnosis and ask his or her subconscious mind to help the client attain a desired goal. The client remains in control at all times, and the hypnosis professional acts merely as the guide. We make no assumptions about the cause of the conflict, relying solely on the information offered by the client’s subconscious. Depending upon the responses we get to a handful of key questions, we determine whether there is a subconscious part of the client that is preventing him or her from success because it holds a conflicting belief or because of a past event. It’s then our task to negotiate between the conflicting parts to help the client attain resolution.
 
In Ellen’s case, although I asked first to speak to the part of her that wanted to become a mother, the part preventing her from becoming pregnant spoke first. In a very aggressive tone, a part of Ellen that called itself ‘Me’ started the conversation by saying “She CAN NOT become pregnant! I will NOT let her.” When I asked why not, ‘Me’ explained that it didn’t want Ellen to get hurt, and it was protecting her from the sad things that can happen if she had children. ‘Me’ went on to describe how Ellen had witnessed the problems that arose many years ago when her aunt became pregnant and realized that she couldn’t support another child, and how Ellen might find herself in the same situation. I questioned ‘Me’ about who gave her this job of protecting Ellen, and when that might have occurred. “I gave me this job when Ellen got married,” she replied confidently. “I saw she’s not going to be happy if she has children.” I asked if ‘Me’ would listen as I spoke with the part of Ellen that wanted to become a mother. Like a stubborn child, she declared in no uncertain terms, “Yes, but I WILL NOT change my mind!”
 
The part that was motivating Ellen presented a very different demeanor. It called itself ‘Maria’ and appeared calm and self-assured. She confidently stated that Ellen was always meant to nurture and to have children. I asked ‘Maria’ when she had assumed this role in Ellen’s life, but I was not at all prepared for her answer: “When I died 10 years ago.” (Truthfully, I was glad Ellen’s eyes were closed so she couldn’t see the surprise on my face! Who in heaven’s name was I talking to? A spirit or entity outside of Ellen or a persona Ellen’s subconscious had assumed upon the death of a loved one? I had no way to know.) I then asked if ‘Maria’ had heard ‘Me’ expressing her fears about what might happen if Ellen had children. ‘Maria’ smiled gently as she replied “She’ll be okay. She’ll be wonderful; she’s a natural in heart.” ‘Maria’ promised to listen as I resumed my conversation with ‘Me’ in hopes of getting her to compromise.
 
‘Me’ sounded a bit less sure of herself when I called upon her again. She admitted that she heard ‘Maria’ proclaim that Ellen would be a wonderful mother, and grudgingly agreed that Ellen had what it took to be a fantastic mom. With a bit of negotiating, I also got ‘Me’ to recognize that Ellen would always be able to support her family if, for some reason, her husband Joe could not – and that if all else failed, Ellen’s brothers could be relied upon to pitch in and help. ‘Me’ was clearly not ready to give up, though. She told me triumphantly that Ellen’s father had warned her to “Never, EVER, get pregnant!”  With a bit of prodding, I discovered that Ellen’s dad had delivered that admonishment back when Ellen was a teenager. ‘Me’ finally conceded that Ellen’s father had probably not wanted Ellen to get pregnant while she was still in school – and that he never meant to say that she should not have children after she was married.
 
In the end, ‘Me’ and ‘Maria’ agreed to join forces under the new name of ‘Motherhood’ to help Ellen let go of her fears, and to reassure her that everything would be okay if she decided to have children.
 
Upon awakening from hypnosis, Ellen was amazed to realize that her fears about becoming a mother had taken root so many years ago. She described the emotional pain her whole family had undergone as a result of her aunt’s inability to keep her baby, and how deeply that had affected her. She laughed at remembering her father warning her about unplanned pregnancy during high school. Best of all, she told me that ‘Maria’ was the name of her beloved grandmother … and that grandma had passed away ten years ago.
 
Now comes the happy surprise ending (which you might have guessed)….Ellen texted me from her doctor’s office just 16 days later. She was pregnant with her first child, and over-the-moon with excitement!
 
Thank you Grandma Maria!
 
I know not what the success will be … but the attempt I vow.*

Truth to tell, I love my work – both as a certified hypnotherapist and as a past life regressionist. It’s so rewarding to witness the process as my clients learn to overcome their fears, deal more effectively with stress and anxiety, and begin to realize the unlimited potential that lies within each of us.

It’s always a collaborative effort, and although we can’t always predict the final outcome, we most often make significant progress. As I look back, though, even the smallest successes mean so much to me. Nevertheless, playing a part in helping a woman as she removes the subconscious blocks to becoming a mother will always stand out as a special highlight of my career.

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Note: Names changed to protect the pregnant!

* Recognize the quotes in the title and subtitles, but not sure from whence they came? They’re all from Shakespeare’s plays:
“There are more things in heaven and earth…than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” – Hamlet
“To be, or not to be, that is the question.” – Hamlet
“There are many events in the womb of time” – Othello
“What's past is prologue.” – The Tempest
“I know not what the success will be … but the attempt I vow.” – All’s Well That Ends Well

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